As the anticipation builds for our 50th reunion at Bryn Mawr, I can’t help but feel a rush of excitement thinking about the cherished moments we’ll share with old friends and the new connections we’ll forge with classmates we may not have known well during our time on campus.There’s something truly magical about these reunions – from sharing stories in the dorm room affectionately known as “the smoker” to enjoying dinners under the canopies on Merion Green, every moment is filled with laughter, camaraderie, and nostalgia.
Giving Back
But, beyond the joy of reminiscing, our reunion also presents a unique opportunity to give back to our alma mater. While Cynthia and Mae are busy planning, the Class Gift Committee (myself, Gale Rutan, Verneda Lights and Mae O’Brien) have been working hard to organize the fundraising campaign. As you probably know, in mid-March, ten of our classmates issued a Challenge to the rest of us to raise $139,000 ($1,000 for every year of the College’s existence) to match an equal amount that they have set aside.
We also launched a dedicated website for the Challenge, where you can make your donation and track our progress as we work towards our fundraising goal. It’s a chance for each of us to show our support for Bryn Mawr and leave a lasting legacy for future generations of students. So, let’s mark our calendars, spread the word, and come together to make our 50th reunion an unforgettable celebration of friendship, memories, and the enduring spirit of Bryn Mawr.
New Fundraising Website
Last week, we were given a new link to the website we launched March 18, where the Challenge is taking place. You will want to visit it regularly, not just to donate, but also to watch the total increase as we inch toward our goal. If the hyperlink doesn’t work for you, just copy and paste the full URL into your browser: https://www.givecampus.com/schools/BrynMawrCollege/reunion-2024/pages/1974
Why are we sharing this new link? Well, the one we shared previously turned out to require a lot of fussing by Bryn Mawr staff to get things posted. This new one makes it much easier for staff, meaning we get donors’ names and the revised total each time someone participates posted much faster. All donors are listed on the site, but you have to scroll down to the bottom to see them. The list of Most Recent Donors keeps changing as new people contribute, but everyone else is there if you click the blue “View All Donors” button.
EXCEPT, we must note one HUGE omission from that list: the group who issued the Challenge in the first place! That is, the ten classmates who collectively set aside $139,000 and urged the rest of us to match that amount.
How did this happen? A miscommunication when we set up the site. We are working to remedy the situation. Meanwhile, let’s take this opportunity to list them here.
MANY THANKS to (in alphabetical order):
Cynthia Perry Barth
Alida Evans
Rhea Graham
Joyce Hansen
Claire Ross
Joanna Rom
Lyn Befarah Schoenfeld
Karen Talmadge
and two others who want to remain Anonymous.
The Challengers will soon be listed on the website to which the link is posted above when the very busy Bryn Mawr staff (who build and maintain these websites for all Reunion classes who desire them), are able to get in there and post them.
I can’t wait to see you all on campus!
Warm regards,
Carrie
PS: You may have noticed the wonderful art we are sharing here and in our Facebook posts, as well as the thank you emails that donors get. It’s all done by Verneda (Rikki) Lights, who has generously donated her artistic skills and other time and energy to this fundraising effort. Special thanks to Rikki!
#GivingTuesday is our chance to give back to Bryn Mawr.
#GivingTuesday is important, because it gives us a time to stop and give thanks for all the people, events, educators, and institutions that made us who we are. We give thanks for people and things we love, as well as the people and things that cause us to change, adapt, and grow under difficult circumstances. Growth that occurs in response to challenges confers strength. Growth in response to challenges makes us adaptable. Adaptability makes us durable. For these reasons I give thanks for my Bryn Mawr education.
Bryn Mawr Helps Students “Learn How to Learn”
Following our graduation (1974), I read my diploma, and was bewildered, wondering what it meant. Deciding to get an answer to my question, I walked up to “Mary Pat” McPherson, held up my diploma, and asked: “What does this mean?” She smiled and responded wisely, “It means that you have learned how to learn.” Looking back over my life and in sharing life-stories with classmates, I understand how that statement perfectly describes Bryn Mawr’s gift to her students. Bryn Mawr’s rigorous curriculum teaches analytical skills that yield powerful tools for creative problem-solving. Life in the latter half of the 20th Century and in the dawning decades of the 21st Century, was/ are filled with challenges that make or break lives. A Bryn Mawr education makes successful navigation of life’s challenges more likely, because the skill of learning how to learn is evergreen. Knowing how to learn is a lifelong lifesaver.
A Woman’s Place Is Everywhere
This is when I first understood the positive influence Bryn Mawr has in our lives: After graduation, I started first year classes at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, (now, Perelman School of Medicine). Following class lectures, there was usually a mass exit and entry into the locker area. Once, I remember looking back over my shoulder. I caught a glimpse of some of my female classmates walking submissively (looking down), behind a group of male students. They were supposed to be walking together, but the women in the group walked behind the men. I was horrified and mystified, wondering what would make a woman choose to walk behind men with her head bowed down. Looking back on that small incident, I see how Bryn Mawr helped me develop a strong, positive, internal dialogue that reaffirms (again and again), that my place as a woman (yes, and as a black woman, too), is wherever I want to be. I don’t have to walk behind anybody. I can lead. My place isn’t “over there,” My “place” is everywhere!
Importance of Giving Back
To tell the truth, it took me years (okay, decades), to stop being an alumna Scrooge. Why? Because I was angry about all the ways I thought the College had fallen short. Then, I changed my mind, and decided to start giving back because of all the things Bryn Mawr does right. A main example of why I changed my mind can be summed up in two words: Hurricane Matthew.
In 2016, Hurricane Matthew barreled down upon the state of SC. The governor gave orders for everyone in the Low Country to evacuate. I was nervous, because this was the first time our community had ever been required to evacuate in response to a storm threat. Also, this was my first year without my parents. My father died in 2013. I moved home to care for my mother, who was very strong physically and mentally. My father was a master chef, so I wanted to be able to cook for Mom in the manner to which she was accustomed. Not long after I moved home, Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Somehow we managed to make even chemo fun. I worked remotely while being a cheerleader and caregiver. Mom and I had many cherished, good moments. She died at home on a cold December morning in 2015. My brother Grady, my sister Bess, and I were at her bedside.
Help Came From an Unexpected Place: Bryn Mawr
After Mom died, I became the knowledge worker and caregiver for my brother Lennie, who had a stroke that rendered him mute and bed-bound. He was very well-cared for at a nursing home in Savannah, GA. I visited him weekly, and stayed with him whenever he was hospitalized, which was often. When Matthew hit, Lennie was evacuated to another facility in Macon. The logistics of his relocation was challenging. Needless to say, I had to steel myself against fear of the unknown. I packed my bags and prepared for my neighbor, his wife and brother, to pick me up. The plan was to travel west, but storm-tracking software showed the hurricane threat reaching deep into the Western US. Not having a place to go, I decided to search for hotels and Air BnBs online, as we traveled. It seemed nowhere was safe.
On the day of our departure, the sky was dark and rain had started to fall. I got a direct message via Facebook, from BMC classmate, Susan Goldstein. Susan asked if I was safe. She said that if we didn’t have a place to go, my traveling companions and I were welcome to stay at her home, in the northern part of SC. I accepted her offer for help. She texted me her address. With the help of GPS software, we navigated our way safely through the storm, to Susan’s home. My three companions and I arrived to find a big pot of delicious (vegan) vegetable soup, home made bread, and wine. Susan was such a gracious host. We had a great time, although there was no lack of drama from the storm! The safety and serenity of her home is reflected in the art work below. “Ancestral Pillows, Pillars,” is a photo montage that I created based on the self-portrait I took while laying down on my comfy bed in Susan’s home. I used a vintage portrait of my mother, Jenniese Lights, and her sister, Wilhelmina German, to cover the pillow beneath my head. The artwork was included in the “Wild Cuts” exhibit at Woman Made Gallery in Chicago, (2017). Susan’s generosity lives on in my art. Art, photography, and graphic design were things that I taught myself, because I learned how to learn. Thank you, Bryn Mawr!
The point of this story is to say that sometimes when you’re in trouble, help comes from unexpected places. For me, that unexpected place was Bryn Mawr. Never in my life would I have expected that any BMC classmate cared enough for my soul that they would extend a helping hand, despite the presence of danger all around. I was wrong. When telling my brother Grady (Haverford ’73), about my Hurricane Matthew journey, he was amazed and said: “That BMC/ ‘Ford connection is strong!!!” He was right.
Reflecting on Bryn Mawr this #GivingTuesday, I must say that there are many reasons why I give. Having a BMC classmate who cared enough to get me and three traveling companions out of harms’ way, is a big reason to give. There’s no telling what could have happened to us if we did not have safe harbor during the worst part of the storm. Another reason I give is because it feels good. It feels good to know that giving to the College provides funds that make it possible for them to continue to offer the excellent education I received. Alumnae giving is a reflection of deep thought and high esteem that broadcasts our confidence in Bryn Mawr to the world at large. No, Bryn Mawr College is not perfect. No one and no institution is. But it is the place where I learned to learn. What I learned at Bryn Mawr helped me to acquire the skills I needed to be a caregiver. It helped me to segue from medicine to visual art and photography. It is a place where others learned to value me, just as I learned to value them. Please take time to give, now. Here is the link to give: https://www.brynmawr.edu/giving/how-give-what-give
Match for a Million
The Match for a Million is a new alumnae giving initiative. Beginning today, (December 1st), a generous donor will match all new and increased alumnae donations, up to $500,000. The match period lasts as long as it takes to get to the $500,00 mark. May we reach our goal, soon!
The gift of a Bryn Mawr education is the gift that keeps on giving.
Carrie Buchanan and Gale Rutan, at the breakfast table during the Volunteer Summit (BMC, 2018).
When I retired and moved near Bryn Mawr, I volunteered to help the college.I figure that I got a good education at Bryn Mawr; it was time to give back.So, I became one of the class collectors.This being a “big year,“ (45th upcoming reunion), this task involved contacting former classmates and asking them to contribute towards our class gift.
At first, I was hesitant.The phone calls were psychologically hard, and the conversation on my part was awkward.I was not used to asking for money.After all, we are Bryn Mawr women, independent and self-reliant.Ask for money?Ask for a handout?Never!That’s exactly what I felt like I was doing.A classmate with a wonderfully wicked sense of humor called me one of the designated “class beggars.”We laughed at that shared witticism, but really, when she said that, it broke the ice.Yes, I am one of your designated class beggars.
A “Reunion Before a Reunion”
But I am learning.In truth, I have come to enjoy these phone calls and to reconnect with classmates.I have learned so much about the women who are my fellow classmates for whom I care deeply.It is truly a reunion-before-a-reunion, a one-on-one conversation, and an excuse to reconnect with some fantastic women who comprise the BMC class of ‘74.
I have called about 15 women so far.I hope to make more phone calls and to write more e-mails to reconnect with many of you prior to reunion.I have learned to expect to spend some time talking to our fellow classmates should I reach you on the telephone.When that happens, the years melt away.It is not like asking for a donation for any other type of organization, because Bryn Mawr is so small that we usually know the person we are calling.We have a shared value: supporting younger women in our feminist tradition, enabling them to become strong, decisive, and knowledgeable members of society.I mention that tuition alone does not cover the cost of a Bryn Mawr education.
Fundraising Determines College Rankings!
I did not know until I volunteered to be a fundraiser that college rankings are partly based on the percentage of alumnae/i who donate to their school after graduation, no matter the amount of the donation.I try to emphasize that in my contacts. (Some of the answers that I get are: “But that is so unfair!” Well, yes, it is, but that is the formula. I wish it were not so, but I do not have the power to change it.So we just have to live with it [for now]).
Expect to spend time on these phone calls if you reach a classmate or a classmate returns your call. It is truly a mini-reunion. I have heard about the joys of grandparenthood, the sadness of losing a spouse. I have received and given solace.I have heard what BMC alumns are doing around the country to raise funds for the college.I hear about the activities of local Bryn Mawr alumnae clubs in cities around the country.There are moments of shared humor, such as accepting the moniker of “class beggar.“(“Well, if the shoe fits…”). I accept the challenge!Thank you for sharing your impromptu news with me and for letting me into your lives.
It is a privilege to actually make these contacts.It is a gift of time, both received and given.
Reconnecting Has Benefits
I still have some hesitancy, some awkwardness, but the benefits of reconnecting with all of you outweigh my uneasiness.Why should we need an excuse to reconnect with classmates?The conversations are easy, even after 45 years!And, they are a joy.Life seems so busy that we procrastinate, saying that we can call so-and-so tomorrow.But tomorrow comes and goes and the phone call is not made, and in fact it is never made.One of my classmates lived in the same city as I did 30 years ago.She invited me for Thanksgiving dinner, and I had the best of intentions to reciprocate, but life got busy.Then we both lived in another city at the same time, but again life got busy.But at least there were phone calls!
Thank you, Class of ‘74, for supporting us, your class collectors, in making these contacts.Thank you for answering your phones or calling back.But most of all, thank you for your financial support for Bryn Mawr.
Making these phone calls has been a blessing.It has been an enriching experience to reconnect with all of you, my fellow classmates.I am glad I did it, and I would recommend to all my classmates to make a few phone calls.It is an enriching experience.It is time well spent in supporting each other as well as in supporting the next generation of women.
